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A Crashed Hard Drive Can Make You Smarter
Douglas Chick
 There is no drug or single event in the world that can make a computer person focus more clearly than a crashed hard drive on a mission critical server. The mere act of the crashing hard drive temporarily raises ones IQ as much as 50 percent.
You are more aware of your surroundings, you are able to enclose yourself into an invisible bubble that deflects sounds. Sounds such as; when is the server going to be up again, do you know when the server is going to be up again,
and do you know that the server is down? When a server crashes all bodily resources merge and work together in a higher state of
being the network administrator. Even his or her pleasure centers temporarily shutdown to accommodate
the crisis.
Time seems to slow down when you’re restoring data from a backup. You are able to multi-task, (real multi-tasking, not the type that operating systems claim they can do.) you can calculate rational and irrational numbers using math that hasn’t been invented yet and you become just a little more spiritual.
A crashed hard drive has been known to bring people closer to their fellow
workers, to god, and the unemployment line. I bet more people have been fired from not having a good back up of the accounting departments database than from wrecking a train while smoking
pot. Although admit I really don’t have any real numbers to back up this claim.
The distortion of time is also sometimes confusing when restoring your backup tape and the date stamp displays that your most current back up is weeks old. And because accountants and CEOs know little of time space and how it is relevant to different vantage points,
to the uneducated staff worker it can appear that you’ve spend more time surfing the net for brain dumps and not enough time checking on your backup tapes.
In such cases as this the mind does something extraordinary; in an effort to maintain its own self-preservation it instructs the network administrator to begin a very complex game of survival that begins with placing the blame elsewhere. Many politicians also have this inert survival skill but
theirs also include being financially dependant on a special interest group.
Once the crisis is over and all is
normal again, the network administrator retreats quietly back to his or her desk
and forgets all of their newly acquired enlightenment and rejoins the network
version of Half-Life, Doom.
DougChick@TheNetworkAdministrator.com
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