The differences between end

The differences between end-users and African Mountain Gorillas. By Doug Chick

Before I make a comparison between end-users and Gorillas, I would first like to apologize to the African Mountain Gorilla. My first choice was to compare end-users to the retarded goat herders of the Himalayas, but since I know less about the retarded goat herders of the Himalayas than Mountain Gorillas, and because I do have an animated gif of two gorillas picking fleas off each other the choice was an obvious one.   Although Im sure that many of my end-users have at times been with a goat. Nevertheless, this article is the comparative differences between an African Mountain Gorilla and the common computer end-user. That may or may not have been with a goat.  My article begins....

1.   Gorillas will band together during feeding while the leader watches and protects against predators. (Man)

C. End-users will recognize my shoes in the mens room and immediately proceed to ask me questions about their computer. If I were in a gorilla pack, the leader of my group would immediately save me from this humiliation by storming in and inserting enough bananas into the end-user that he would never be curious about computers again. Well, except for the one that prints out his bill at the proctologist office.

2.   Gorillas will make a bed of fresh leafs every night before sleeping.

C. End-users will bring in their home computer and place it on your chair without a name or clue to what the problem is. If I were in a gorilla pack, the leader of my group would explain that Doug doesnt repair peoples home computers because the moment that Doug touches your piece of crap computer, you will think that Doug is obligated to support you and your stupid machine for the rest of Dougs natural life. And then of course, the gorilla leader will then proceed in tearing off the arms of the end-user, which he will use to beat these person to death with.

3.   Gorillas are big.

C. End-users have lots of cats. I dont mean one or two cats I mean a lot of cats, like a million. End-users have a million cats, each. So its easy to see why I say that end-user have a lot of cats. Because thats a lot....  hmm, moving right along.

4.   Gorillas have hands as big as my head.

C. End-users have fingers as big as a sausage in a German restaurant.  This prevents them from ever typing their password correctly the first time.  This causes them to make the nasal, whining noise, the computer is broken.