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Blessed are the Geeks, for they shall internet the earth |
Douglas Chick
One day my daughter saw me talking to a friend at work and commented that I looked happier with a stranger than with my wife, and she suggested that we get a divorce. She didn't know that we were only married because of my daughter, and I used the opportunity to quickly ask my wife for a divorce, and she happily agreed. Now I'm not sure if it's just a coincidence, or if I'm just older now, but this has been the happiest I've ever been in my life…in my life. But, there are several things I find I do not enjoy doing alone and require companionship. I will not list the obvious "one", but I will say that I do not enjoy going to the movies and dinner alone, so I joined an online personal site.
Immediately upon joining an online personal website, I noticed that almost all the woman refers to looking for their soul mate? (WTF) They love the beach, cruises, cats, and dancing. Like most men, I hate laying in the sun, going on cruises, cats, and dancing…but also like most men will tolerate it for quality companionship. And really, I'm just looking for someone to go to dinner and movies with.
I haven't looked at any of the men's ads, but I have noticed that women will lay it all out there for you. Some will admit almost immediately they are looking for a man to be a father to their children, others might say they are looking for a man that won't cheat on them, and even others use fonts that look like they cut in their message with a broken bottle or jagged rock. In so many words, people will ultimately tell you what they suffer from. If I had an online dating website, I would call in "remainders" because online dating is all the people left over.
(Another interesting fact about online dating is the pictures they use. Apparently there is a rule that you can't use current pictures of yourself, and you can only use pictures at least ten years younger when you were thinner and before the ugly effects of alcohol abuse ravaged your face with pock marks.)
There are many people that are professional online daters. From experience they know exactly what to do and say to get you on that first date. And if you are new, they will attack you like sharks to chum. They believe that once you meet them, you will forget all about how attractive they were in their pictures, and be blinded by love? (or loneliness) Experienced online daters are "Rifters".
When you think about an online dating website, you have to image being at the airport standing at the luggage pickup area and watch how the airport authorities handles tons upon tons of baggage passing daily between person to conveyor, conveyor to transport, from transport to airplane and then to a different terminal. My impression of online dating sites is 80 percent baggage, 10 percent desperation, and 9 percent pictures doctored with Photoshop.
Still, online dating websites have done more for pair bonding than mitosis. (Mitosis is the process of cellular division in which the daughter cells are genetically and morphologically identical to themselves and to the mother cell.) But there needs to be specialist sites for similar typed people. For example, an online dating site for Geeks, (of nerds, engineers, mathies, and technowizards...no gamers please) Because computer people need their own kind to co-habitat with. Do you really want to be with someone, whose computer you have to fix all the time.
So, if you are a halfway attractive, computer girl geek, and find this article entertaining and not insulting to women, please feel free to drop me a line. But be perhaps to send a current picture.
Thank you.
