A Website Dedicated to Computer Professionals...and some not so Professional

Users…trusted co-workers, or other people’s children?
Chris Louviere

I submit to you that users…all users…no segregation or discrimination here…all users are essentially other people’s children. Not just other people’s kids…but those other people whose houses have car parts in front of them, tires for flower pots, and a last years Christmas lights still up. Okay…they may be the same lights that have been up since the Ford administration…we aren’t sure.

Other people’s kids always act just like yours. They say the same dumb things; they do the same dumb-ass things over and over again…just like yours. What’s the difference? You can’t beat other people’s children. Simply put, when your kid ask you the same question three times in a row…chances are you have either yelled at him/her (causing him/her to run in fear), beat him/her about the head and shoulders (also causes him/her to run in fear), thrown around some well needed time out (makes him/her think about not wasting anymore time asking dumb questions…Pokemon being more important than staring at the wall), or simply ignored the child…turned up the TV louder and they eventually walk away. And watch out if you had to tell him/her how to do something the right way...more than once.

You really can’t do these things with other people’s kids. I mean physical abuse is obviously out. Who needs the added headache of being responsible for little Johnny from down the street not getting into Harvard? Once his mother finds out you beat the child…all of his future transgression will no doubt fall at your feet. Yelling…or any other kind of verbal abuse (to include, but not being limited to well deserved isolation from the other children) will only result in the same said child’s failure in life…a mountain of therapy bills…and since you already have the understanding that you will most likely mortgage your own home in 15 years to pay for your own children’s therapy…you figure you should save up and not pay for more than your share.

What is the point? Glad you asked. See…recently we (meaning the financial company I baby-sit and I), have gone back to locking out users after three failed login attempts (I know…sound policy…but the children I baby-sit require government sponsored social workers to tell them what to do). This…as every other professional baby-sitter knows does a whole lot of great security conscious things. It also causes more messes…spilt Kool-Aid…dirty diapers…etc. Well, since then I have been repeating myself more than any of us baby-sitters likes to. There are only so many times you can say “if you had typed your password correctly once within the three attempts, you wouldn’t be locked out”. After telling the same children…the same thing for the last week…I have decided that the only course of action is to just accept that they are other peoples kids.

Because, if they were mine…they would be able to read an error message, report it accurately, and remember how to spell their password. The same password they have had for the last 4 years (you know what I am talking about…I don’t need to give examples). If they were my kids…they could remember how to spell their boyfriends name…or their dogs name…or heaven forbid that they forgot how to spell their child’s name…the bastard is only 25 years old, how long before you can spell the name you gave him...all those years ago?

I digress…the fact is if they were my kids…and not someone else’s…I would have beat them a long…long…long…long time ago.

Chris Louviere


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