Blessed are the Geeks, for they shall internet the earth

End-User Computer Term Comprehension

Your Understanding     Their Understanding
Backup: data being backed up to storage device.  Backup: The opposite of go forward.
Cursor: Flashing pointer positioning.   Cursor: An expert in 4-letter words
Dump: Server Blue Screen Dump: A Network Administrators work area
Defrag: Defragmentation collects streams of data and stores it together on the hard disk. Defrag: What some religious groups claim they can accomplish with counseling.
Dongle: A device that prevents the unauthorized use of hardware or software.  Dongle: Something that if whipped out in front of an end-user may cause a sexual harassment lawsuit. 
DSL: Digital subscriber lines up to 1.5 mbps DSL: Cable Modem
Modem: A modem is device that converts computer data into sound that can be transmitted over phone lines. Modem: Computer case, hard drive, monitor, motherboard, mouse, keyboard, a sound that cats make while in heat.
Email: Electronic mail Email: A medium used to send cat pictures to friends that can have children
Emoticon: :-)  Emoticon: Men that can't express feelings
Encryption: Encryption is the process of changing data into a form that can be read only by the intended receiver. Encryption: The explanation of why your cat pictures are still in your outbound mail box. 
FAT: file allocation table FAT: The billing departments of every company in the world. And a lot of programmers as well.
Fat binary: Large files that Macintosh and Power Mac can send.. Fat binary: A very large single digit that is typically used while driving behind the elderly. 
Flash ROM: Reprogramming a new BIOS  Flash ROM: What I'm going to do if I get fired. 
Ghosting: Copying a hard drive sector by sector Ghosting: What I'm going to do if I get fired. 
Gigabyte: 1,073,741,824 bytes Gigabyte: What Herb Albert went to court for.
Gopher: Helpdesk Engineer. Gopher: Helpdesk Engineer.
Phong shading: In 3D graphics, the polygons that make up the graphics need to be shaded. Phong shading: When you want to wear a thong, but only have a black magic marker. 
Ping: packet Internet groper Ping: The sound that the monitor makes with they bump your head against it. 
POP: Post Office Protocol POP: The sound that is make the second time their head hits to monitor.
PPP: point-to-point protocol PPP: What happens if they drink too much coffee
Public domain: Food in the lunch room refrigerator after 12:30 PM  Public domain: Food in the lunch room refrigerator after 12:30 PM
RAID: redundant array of independent (or inexpensive) disks RAID: Going through your desk after we fix your computer.
RAM: random access memory RAM: Male sheep
Resolution: Resolution is a measure of graphics that's used to describe what a printer can print. Resolution: To quit smoking and lose weight after the holidays.
Twisted pair: Telephone companies commonly run twisted pairs of copper wires to each customer household Twisted pair: When a computer geek marries the graphic artist in marketing.
TWAIN: Scanner driver TWAIN: Another word for locomotive.
Zipped: Compressed file Zipped: What computer people are never when they come dragging in late in the morning.


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A Career in Computers

The Information Technology Survival Guide -- Douglas Chick


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