The Bitter  Network Administrator

A Website Dedicated to Computer Professional...and some not so Professional

The only worthwhile article I could of thought of writing and you guys steal it.... phone companies.... pffftt......    

by Reno Laskey

I'm not really trying to accuse anyone of stealing a story about an injustice I know damn well affects us all. :)   My most affluent problem is with PacBell now which is SBC, but anyway the rule of thumb is this. If they come within 1000ft of my building a line goes down, or voice trouble ensues. I'll give them credit though, at least my data lines are staying up lately, now just the voice lines go down. 

Every single time without fail, when they work down the street from my office, I lose 2 - 3 of my voice lines. And thankfully I only have to spend an average of 1 - 2 hours convincing them of that... usually the first hour is convincing them that there was in fact a tech on my street, and secondly convincing them a problem exists at all. 

Any comparison of phone company techs to monkeys is totally wrong. Monkeys of have cognoscente abilities. Monkeys can clearly recognize a problem and quickly react to it.  Or be taught to recognize certain shapes and put them into holes. Such as the holes that might be left when a phone tech's fat ass pulls the cables out of whatever it is down the street that my lines are connected too!!!! Monkey's tend to cohabitate in groups helping each other survive. Most phone techs realize the class of service they offer and are all too willing to "pass the buck" to another nameless, faceless tech. And I don't know why but for the life of me most phone tech's seem like they are really just cops that couldn't make it. It's something about the entire way they approach problems which tips me off, which leads me to list the following.... "Axioms Of Phone Company Support"   

1. Customer is ALWAYS WRONG. 

2. The problem is ALWAYS on the customer side of the demarc. (and don't forget we charge money for inside wiring) 

3. We don't like doing customer wiring already, go away!!!! 

4. See point 1, your ALWAYS WRONG!!! 

5. Have you fiddled with the wire on the back? 

6. It simply must be your fault. 

7. If you call us up with anything less than a 100 page summary report outlining in detail what the problem is, why it's not you, and how to fix it we won't talk to you. Please remember to file in triplicate. 

8. Fix it or you'll do what??!?!?!? Change to another vendor? HAHAHAHAHAHA 

9. Yes sir the problem is STILL on your end, callback tomorrow. 

10. Why yes we the phone company are having a problem with your line, and will be dispatching someone competent, friendly, and helpful to assist you troubleshoot what is obviously our problem.......(something you will NEVER hear a phone company tell you) 

11. WHAT??? No we don't have a problem, it must be on your end. We'll gladly dispatch a rude, know-it all, smartass to your location at our convenience. Just realize we may have to charge you an exorbitant amount of money if he has to so much as pick his nose on your behalf. (what you will hear EVERYTIME you talk to the phone company. okay okay, they never admit to picking they're nose.... but......)  

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