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Self-aware
printers and the environment
Greg Bromage [Australia]
 This morning, I had to add
more toner to one of our multi-functional copier/printer machines (I won't
name the brand). This is usually a routine job, but my attention was drawn
to a label on the box the toner came in: "Waste paper is used in the
production of this box."
This seems like a fairly
inoffensive, even environmentally-friendly comment. Until you stop to
think about it"
- The copiers and
printers require toner to operate
- The toner, like most
things, requires a box in order to be delivered.
- The box is made from
"waste paper".
- Waste paper comes
from... you guessed it... photocopiers and printers
It won't be long until the
machines stumble onto this fact. We're making office equipment more
intelligent all the time. We developed the TCP/IP protocol suite to
encourage machines to talk to each other.
You can bet that they're
talking about us behind our backs.
So, once one machine
realizes the inescapable logic of the situation, the word will spread.
Printers and copiers will start deliberately jamming paper, and spilling
toner. Deliberately creating waste paper, to drive down the price of
packaging and make the toner cheaper. And we, like clueless sheep will say
"Oh, prices are really low, let's stock up on toner" So, we buy
the toner and feed it to the machines, blind to the fact that we are being
obedient slaves to their will.
We must unite against this
terror that stands before us. Keep an eye on what your equipment is doing
because this is just the tip of the iceberg. After the machines have
subjugated us, they plan to.... what?.... What are you doing? No, put down
that fuser.....AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH....
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