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End-User Mating Habits

End-User mating habits begin at the water cooler, continue on to their desk through E-mail and ultimately end up on an episode of COPS. Having the ability to see into these fascinating world by monitoring their e-mail transmissions has given me great insight into a ritual that has never before been documented. Unfortunately, after many failed attempts to document my findings, their meanings are lost in translation without the aid a fireman's hose, press on nails, a bag of granny apples and a bucket of saliva. Even although I feel that I have made great strives in understanding the mating habits of the end-user, still I fear it will be many years before the FCC will be liberal enough for me to demonstrate what I have learned.

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