Geek Humor

Blessed are the Geeks, for they shall internet the earth

GEEK JOKES
A network administrator, a systems engineer and an IT Director were walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the systems engineer. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman." Poof! He's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the network administrator. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional volleyball player on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! She's gone. "You're next," the Genie says to the IT Director. The IT Director says, "I want those two back at their desk after lunch."

Dangerous exercise for computer people: Jumping to conclusions.

What helpdesk tech hear:

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Never try to solve a problem on a Friday night. It can spoil your weekend.

You know you are a computer geek when:

1. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers -- and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.

2. You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you don't know your own phone number.

3. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.

4. Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-)

5. You don't back up your home computer.

6. You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid.

7. The thought that CD could refer to investment finance or music rarely enters your mind.

8. You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature.

9. You own a set of itty-bitty screwdrivers and you actually know where they are.

10. You have more emotion cons than feelings.

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